The Gods get Googled

September 28, 2002

Search Engines get a little wobbly…

Strange things have been happening to the Godchecker site lately. First, our server threw a wobbly. (This is a technical term.) It’s fixed now, thanks to the good grace of the Gods and 465 phone calls.

Then the amazingly wonderful Google decided we were worthy of their devoted attention and began indexing the whole site every couple of days. This is a good sign of our growing importance in the world of Quirky Mythology. And the Gods are well pleased.

And now weird things are happening to our Google search results. For some reason, Google’s automatic web-checking robot has decided that Godchecker is also a fantastic web design company. There is probably a technical reason for this. In other words, Google has thrown a wobbly.


Buddha puts his foot in it

September 21, 2002

Thousands flock to waterfall for frog-rubbing frenzy

A large puddle in Thailand was the unlikely scene of a mass pilgrimage this week, as believers raced to see evidence of a visit by Buddha.

According to reports, the puddle, located at the top of Had Sai waterfall in Punga province, looks exactly like the footprint of Buddha. We are unable to confirm this as we’ve never seen Buddha’s foot, and his personal chiropodist refused to comment. But believers are convinced that the holy puddle contains sacred water, and many hundreds of them have paddled in it hoping for enlightenment.

Adding to the mystery, the Holy Puddle is home to a small frog, which pilgrims are convinced is the Guardian of the Puddle. The frog was worshipped by the multitudes, who then asked it the most devout of spiritual questions: What can you tell us about next week’s lottery numbers?

Apart from hopping around a little in an agitated manner, the Guardian of the Holy Puddle would reveal nothing of these deep mysteries. So believers have taken the matter into their own hands by rubbing the frog’s back with talcum powder in hopes that the winning numbers will magically appear.

Unfortunately, this has so far achieved nothing except reduce the frog to a very poor state of health. We would urge all pilgrims to throw away their talcum powder and consult our Holy Oracle instead.

Meanwhile, the Godchecker Team are more interested in discovering exactly why Buddha was standing on one leg at the top of a waterfall…

Holy android!

September 3, 2002

Mickey Mouse baffled by Bible bots

Religious tongues are wagging over The Scriptorium, a Holy Theme Park which recently opened in Orlando, FL. The Scriptorium — an educational entertainment complex — is stuffed full of authentic religious artefacts, including rare scrolls and manuscripts from the Judaeo-Christian faith. It also contains a number of slightly less authentic items, including a bearded robot theologian and mechanical giraffes from a less-than-shipworthy Noah’s Ark.

The idea is to bring Bible history to life for a generation of jaded youngsters, using animation, computers and androids. However, we can’t help feeling that most modern youngsters would prefer a more meaty representation. Such as a live re-enactment of the Spanish Inquisition or a good old-fashioned stoning.

Mickey Mouse probably has little to fear from metal monks and robotic plagues of locusts. What the Bible has to say about mammon and false profits is another matter. But The Scriptorium’s controversial application for tax-exempt status has set us thinking. So watch out for the Godchecker Theme Park, complete with state-of-the-art robot Gods, metallic Mount Olympus and a plastic Heaven.

Enjoy the death-defying Ride of the Valkyries! Test your skill in the Sacrifice-A-Friend contest! Fun for all the family! A selection of minor deities will be on hand to grant boons, and fast food of the Gods will be served at the Holy McDeities™ Drive-In Tabernacle.

We’ll see you there. Look out for members of the Godchecker Team wearing mouse costumes, and of course our amazingly lifelike robot Chas.

Archive glory for Godchecker CEO

September 1, 2002

The weird world of Chas Saunders revealed

Fans of Godchecker’s slightly twisted humor may like to know that cartoons, artwork and exclusive wibbly bits are now available at the Chas Archives. This is an on-going project to bring the complete works of Chas to the web for the delight and education of us all.

Material so far includes: A selection of strange ChasBeasts, artwork from the A-Z of Pub Personalities and extracts from his book Chronic. Much more is promised, including the famous GRIMBLE board game and a rare interview with the great man.