Major Updates!

June 16, 2003

Holy Database utterly revamped

Stage 2 of the upgrade is now underway. We’ve made some major improvements to the Holy Database search facility – now it’s clever enough to find Gods even if you can’t spell their names! It will also check all known aliases and nicknames to find the God or Goddess you’re looking for.

Some of the pantheons are currently off-line while we upgrade the Gods. We’ve just added the Norse pantheon, and next up will be the Egyptians.

Please keep checking back as we’re adding new features all the time. And YOU can help in our devout work! Spread the word of Godchecker or consider donating a few groats to our humble coffers. The Gods will smile upon you.


Latest research: Have you seen this God?

June 6, 2003

Searching for obscure Gods
Emails are clicking in like clockwork and we will soon need to stick pins in a globe. (Africa, China, India, Japan, Mexico, USA and UK would need red pins.) Plenty of people have asked for the most obscure information and research continues at frantic speed.

Have you seen this God?

We are currently looking for a God named IXMAN. Last sighted somewhere in the Mayan hinterlands with antlers on his head and smoking a cigar. Reports of his whereabouts will be treated in the strictest confidence.

Unmasking the Gods

Also on our checklist is a God who has 58 masks, possibly from Mesopotamia. We will soon need masking tape as we have also started working on Gods from Indonesia and Thailand after a request appertaining to Khon masks. Of which there are something in the region of 300. There seems to be a lot of masquerading going on.

The mysterious mystic number

Niraj from New Delhi has posed the following question: What significance does 108 have in Indian Mythology? Why it is so important? Why there are 108 beads in a rosary?

We have no idea at present but we’re working on it. Stay tuned!

The relevance of irreverence

N.S. Narula writes: I would like to have a comparison list of all the Indian Gods vs the Greek Gods. I am trying to understand which Greek God is also an Indian God (i.e. what their corresponding names are). I am currently reading Greek Mythology and there seems to be great irreverence in the way the Greek Gods behave – is this the same in Indian Mythology?

That’s a tricky one. Most if not all Indian Gods are completely independent of Greek Mythology and would probably be quite insulted at the idea. But many Gods do share the same attributes, and our new improved Holy Database will soon let you list Gods with similar attributes across different mythologies.

As for irreverence, that seems to be a cultural thing. Greek and Roman Gods like to work hard and play hard. African Gods are aloof and serious. Norse Gods spend their time engrossed in feuds and sagas. But the motives of Indian Gods are usually surreal and endlessly complicated. As experienced God Psychologists, we believe that the most successful Gods are the ones that don’t take themselves too seriously…

Gods on the move

June 5, 2003

Summertime and the livin’ ain’t easy.

Contrary to popular belief, the Gods do not shower Godchecker with riches. It’s mostly plagues of snails and frogs, and Sisyphus endurance tests.

At the Hub of the Universe, a Raven flew down the chimney to warn us about something. After cleaning him up a bit, under the soot there was only a starling. Which shortly afterwards proved that a bird in the hand will crap on your fingers. It’s been that kind of week…

Trials and Tribulations #1 : Saga of the stolen domain name

Unhappy with our web host facilities, we tried to re-locate Godchecker to a funky new server in Canada. But for some reason, it turned out that our hosting company had deported the domain name to a company in Australia. Without telling us! The Gods were most displeased.

Our attempts to contact the Oz company (which will remain nameless) were thwarted on every side by timezone trouble and office hours which bordered on the non-existent. Our expensive conversations with Australian answering machines drove us into a frenzy, and when the Oz personnel did deign to show up for work, the phones were permanently engaged.

It took the combined efforts of technicians in Scotland, America, Canada and Australia to sort out the mess. Kafka, Orwell and Gilliam would have been proud of us. Phone calls, faxes and emails were flying around like crazy. But after much hassle and leaping out of windows in despair, we are free at last!

Trials and Tribulations #2 : The Gods get evicted

Godchecker HQ is based a mere stone’s throw from the Hub of the Universe. Unfortunately, the lease on our unholy building has unexpectedly been withdrawn, leaving us with less than 2 months to find suitable accomodation.

Chas, our Godchecker-in-Chief, dwells at the Hub of the Universe. Which is much smaller than you would imagine and already houses a reference library, votive drums and an overflowing studio, not to mention 2,000 Gods nipping in and out with their résumés. The Hub is already close to implosion and any further burden would cause the Universe to undergo gravitational collapse.

Temporary crash-out space at the Hub is available, but ‘crash’ is not a word to be used lightly in the world of computerised Kludge. So Peter A, our Assistant Godchecker, needs a Cave of Refuge with space for Computer Technology, Graphic Design and a Piano. Godchecker is already running on a shoe string – does anyone have a really huge shoe to spare that is not full of children?