Emails! You tell us…

Chas Saunders sifts through the inbox…

Being constantly told that Godchecker is amazingly fabulous spreads a nice warm glow of terror through us. There are small moments of anonymous vanity when we feel we may be entitled to a big juicy kiss from a voluptuous Goddess…

Dreams aside, we are staggered by the world wide interest in all things mythological. We started with just a few top Gods – but no – you want to know about acolytes, spirits, bogies and every aspect of minor gods and godlets – plus their transport and pets. Nothing is insignificant. Not even us. So lets take a Godgoogle and an Eagleswoop on emailings from around the world…


Africa:

We have a thumbs-up for OBOTALA and a boost for ADROA. Meanwhile, were the Dogons quantum physicists? Laird Scranton informs us that he has written a book called ‘Hidden Meanings’ in which the Dogon symbolic world seems to be stretched to superstring-breaking significance. We hope to manage some kind of review in due course.

To our delight we have a BUMBA fan who thinks he is awesome. So he is. We hold wayward and reactionary Gods in great esteem. It has inspired us to design a BUMBA T-shirt, coming soon to the GodShop. Apart from our trained acolytes who wear such a thing?


Australia:

Mary Novak is designing a Tarot deck with a difference. She wishes to feature a RAINBOW SNAKE and needs our help in taming one.


Aztec:

Ever since the Exhibition in London and the Holy Database re-vamp, QUETZALCOTL has shot to the top of the list, closely followed by AZCATL the humble Ant.


Celtic:

We have been delighted to hear from a practising Celtic Witch who took the time to compliment us for our humor.

Another client has identified with CYRIDDWEN. We are not sure this is a wise choice. Although Cyriddwen cooked up the bubbling mixture of knowledge in her cauldron to try and improve the I.Q. of her son, things did not go according to plan and she lost the plot.


China:

We have had some great input praising the quirkiness and strange behaviour of Chinese Gods. Don’t we know it! We are still looking for a Jade Pi-disc and a recipe for an Eight Immortals cocktail.


Demons:

Always very popular. We don’t get too close and advise our clients not to poke them with a stick or try to impress them with conjuring tricks. We are told HAURES is highly rated in the occult world. Apparently the Pentagon is not just to do with American politics.


Egypt:

We have had a hurrah for RA and a hit for ISIS which seems to have been mailed by ISIS herself. BES continues to be the favourite God of Protection on the domestic front. Recently we produced a set of BES fridge magnets for a local company and we can now supply these to the general public. To protect your kitchen, visit the GodShop.


Finland and Lapland:

Now we are in trouble. It’s been pointed out to us that Lapp is a Finnish word, and the Lapps are actually the Sami and rather resent this takeover. Sadly there is not a lot we can do about it. From a reference point of view the two are always lumped together and the Finns prevail. Sorry Sami. At least we know who you are and so do the Gods.


Goddity:

These are having a field day. We daren’t walk across any field with trees or undergrowth.


Greece:

There seems to be an ever more popular cult of Discordians dedicated to ERIS. We have already profiled her behaviour and can only add she is the daughter of Night and sister of NEMESIS (another Goddess requested lately) and the FATES.

ATHENA has received some very favourable comments, DIONYSUS/BACCHUS are also constantly in demand, and have been profiled in our Top Gods department. Seek before sipping.

PAN has possibly been sighted by one Psilocyberin at the Bonnaroo Festival. HERA has taken ascendancy over ZEUS which won’t make him very happy. She never did like being thought of as Mrs Zeus.


India:

We have received a rousing acclaim for INDRA and his aides. We’ve also received a rather stern email from a temple in California dedicated to KALI. They cannot understand why we do not find her sweet and cuddly. For our own amusement we’ve made an illustration of Kali Minogue but we don’t think anyone is ready for this yet. However, anyone who wishes to give KALI a kiss is perfectly at liberty to do so. She may well have renounced her former ways. It is not our business to tell you who you can and can’t worship. You don’t pay us a dime and then you takes your choice. Where can you get a better bargain?

We have also heard from devotees of LORD VENKATESWARI of the Seven Hills who rather takes our fancy. He will be in our Data Update if you can wait 400 years. You’ve no idea how much work in involved in the Godchecker project.


Indonesia:

A whole new section is under way. What have we done?!


Japan:

Someone has discovered RAIDEN in a computer game. This doesn’t surprise us.


Mayan:

TEPEU and GUCUMATZ have been discovered by a client who has been peeping into the Popol Vuh and is intrigued by the abilities of this duo to produce humans from corn. Far superior to mud or clay.


Mesopotamian:

How nice to see a nomination for MARDUK. We have been trawling through some back numbers of the Clay Tablet Tabloids – or translations therefrom and he has a very impressive record.


Native American:

The antics of KOKOPELLI have rudely amused a brave contributor and raised a smile.

Suzanne wants to know how GAHE should be pronounced. Linguistics are our downfall. Trying to produce vernacular and phonetic sounds into English (which should really be Anglish) text is a nightmare. The grammatical structure is there if only more than two translators could agree. Our tongues are tied (mostly in knots) on this subject. Only someone from the tribe concerned would know ; and even he could have a speech impediment.

A query on GLOOSKAP. What does he look like – a rabbit or a hare? This is one of life’s ongoing conundrums. Mythical hares and rabbits leap and bound in all directions – and it would seem in many cases that no distinction is made between the species. Or perhaps hares were thought to be magical rabbits. Also American jack rabbits have longer legs than British bunnies. We blame GLOOSKAP – as a trickster god he likes to keep us fooled.


Norse:

Due to recent data updating lots of activity. There is a great discussion as to whether RAGNORAK is yet to happen.

Quotes from our LOKI profile are being bandied about on other websites. We are very happy with this when given credit.

ODIN has gained some supremacy votes and even HELA has aroused curiosity. MODI has been requested. He is on site, and no, the site although upgraded is not complete as Godchecking is an ongoing occupation. We do not have the capability to expand in every direction at the speed of light. Only Gods can do that.


Oceanic:

A plea has been made and we do actually have more than 150 on tap, waiting in the long queue to be transferred into our new Database.


Romans:

Mostly for BACCHUS who has been profiled and dealt with from the Greek end as well under DIONYSUS.


South America:

Inspired by EL DORADO, The Golden Man, we have been impelled to start another section and are already lost in the jungle searching for the Tainos tribe and Yukiyu.


Voodoo or Voudou:

We have conflicting reports. It may be the drink or the trances but we are doing our best. Hopefully some votive drum messages are getting through. We find the horror film images very irritating and sensationalism journalists get in the way of research.


Finally – we shall not Geegle again. It’s too exhausting and possibly counter-productive. Instead we hope to construct a Well of Knowledge forum where quests, queries and unsolved mysteries may be deposited.

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