July 30, 2005

Utterly important news

We have now reached the stage where e-mails are coming in vaster quantities faster than ever before – and although we have bought a splendidly carved snake stick to shake at them, this does not appear to be the answer.

So we are thinking of re-instating GODFLASH on a sort of Godblog Basis to deal with questions, which we hope will deal with many similar queries – as individual answers to all e-mails could now take decades.

Our first and foremost priority is now our programming progress. We have cunning plans for a whole new Regional Section. This will require a total revamp of our Holy Database, as the Gods will have to pass through the Godport at the End of the Universe. They don’t really go for passports and the idea of I.D. cards imposed by mortals would not be tolerated. What we do need to know is where they have come from so they are in the correct check-out queue.

This is always so long and winding due to the tiresome technical configurations where all information has to be turned into dots and spibble, every one spot-on or the whole system can crash. Our Database is a cosmic creation of excruciating complexity. Our Guru has to be cosseted and comforted, and can only work in the dark with a damp cloth held to his forehead by a nymph and dish of dry roasted peanuts within reach. There must also be unlimited supplies of black coffee of an almost unobtainable blend from far away places. On the door before it is nailed shut is the legend ‘Don’t Bother to Knock – Just Go Away!’

YES!!! Gods from the following areas are on STANDBY. They ARE in our Godport Archives and THEY WILL make an appearance on our Database in due course. Everything conspires to drive them off course, but nevertheless the following areas ARE in the programming pipeline and we cannot make it happen any faster. INDIA. INDONESIA. JAPAN. ROMAN & ETRUSCAN. SLAVIC. TIBET. WEST INDIES. SOUTH AMERICA.

There are also plans and work in progress to include Saints, Angels and Gods in Fiction, H.P. Lovecraft, Science fiction, Fantasy etc.

To avoid being sidetracked, please note we are no longer going out of our way to supply names and lists of suitable Gods for Role Playing Games, Businesses, Pets, Names for Children or anything else. This will save of lot of people all the trouble of never bothering to say thank you, and will cut down on e-mails all round.

Also at this stage we can no longer supply free pics. We are hoping to instigate a picture library, but this needs a lot of arduous planning and research.

Last but not least we are not funded by anything or anybody. Chance would be a fine thing. All donations (greatly appreciated and blessings to those who have) and Godshop commission etc. is swallowed whole to help alleviate our bandwidth costs and expenses.

Our very best Godly Blessings to you all wherever you may be.