Satan banned from Florida town

January 29, 2002

Prince of Darkness sent packing

News just in: Satan, the demonic lord of evil, has been snubbed in an astonishing attack by a top town official. Carolyn Risher, mayor of Inglis village in Florida, issued a proclamation today naming the devil Public Enemy No 1.

“Satan is not now, nor ever again will be, a part of this town,” she says, warning the Prince of Darkness to stay away or risk municipal action (full story).

The official declaration has met a mixed response. “A most extreme intrusion,” says the American Civil Liberties Union, labelling it a gross violation of ethics. Many Inglis residents, however, applaud the anti-devil message.

Satan himself was unavailable for comment.

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SPECIAL REPORT: The Godchecker Open Day

January 27, 2002

A howling success (with the emphasis on howling)

They turned out in their droves. But what is a drove? Hopefully something weatherproof, as the stormclouds hovered over gale-beseiged Godchecker HQ like nobody’s business.
But come they did! The Gods were most gratified to see the steady trickle of visitors turn into an unsteady trickle, as increasing amounts of holy beverage were consumed. And for the kids, Golden Apple Juice of Immortality.

At home with the Gods

After being welcomed by our resident House Gods (Serpu, Totu and Snafu), guests were invited to consult the Holy Snail™ and learn the mysteries of the universe. The unwary few who took advantage of this offer have been booked in for therapy.

For those with a thirst for knowledge, a deluxe printed copy of the Holy Database was available for instant reference.

A special Mythinformation bulletin was also distributed. And Godchecker-in-Chief Chas Saunders was kept busy answering mythological conundrums while Peter A conducted his own private investigation into the nature of vegan sausages.

The game gets going

Meanwhile, the Godchecker Game was in full swing. Coached by Rowan Allen, teams of bewildered newcomers clutched their God cards and rolled dice into the holy bowl. They were pursuing spiritual enlightenment and top prizes.

We should explain here something of the rules. Players must rush to rescue the Holy Snail™, who is surrounded by Frost Giants, impending Apocalypse and other Unholy Things. The Snail must be returned to one of the Three Corners of the World to bestow great blessings upon his bearer.

Don’t cheat or you’ll go to hell

The journey is fraught with peril. Zeus’s stray thunderbolts, Thor’s hammer, Dagda’s cauldron, Juggernaut and the Utterly Disorientated square will get you if they can.

What other game lets you send your opponent to Hell? Dodging all the traps, players must collect as many Gods as they can while trying to grab the Snail for themselves. (It’s just like real life!) And there’s plenty of opportunity for devious trickery. Build your temple over a vital square or open Pandora’s Box to throw the whole game into chaos.

An exciting and enlightening time was had by all. Prizes galore were awarded to winners and losers alike, but sadly nobody won the Porsche.

When it all blows over

The Godchecker Open Day was great fun and we’d like to thank everyone that struggled through the gales and rain to get there. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. To all those who couldn’t make it (due to the weather, acts of God, unexpected events or sheer absence), we extend our deepest sympathy. You missed some fine sausages.


Lego Gods

January 20, 2002

Easy-to-assemble plastic deities

We always aim to bring you cutting-edge information, and here – exclusively – we present a batch of modern deities for a spiritually deprived world: LEGO Gods

It’s true. Our loyal acolyte Rowan has created a whole Lego pantheon, including OOGABUBBA, GROMBLE and the PSFINX. See them in the Offerings section now.

Will we see Lego Gods at Toys’R’Us anytime soon? Stranger things have happened – Lego’s hugely successful Bionicle range is heavily inspired by Oceanic mythology.


No dice with ungodly games

January 9, 2002

Godchecker Game news

The Godchecker Game continues to expand in all directions. Just before Xmas we produced a limited edition mini-version for testing purposes, and this was so fabulously good that we might make it available to our loyal visitors.

Catch a sneaky preview of the game board in action at the Grand Godchecker Open Day (see below).

We’ve also been experimenting with T-shirt designs. Would you like to wear a God? Check out the latest ones at the Godshop.

Godchecker Open Day

News just in – there will be a grand Godchecker gathering on Saturday 26 January. This will take place at the Hub of the Universe in West Sussex, England, from midday to midnight. All are welcome, but some are more welcome than others. (Particularly those bearing holy offerings of wine, beer or chocolate.)

DRINK at the Fountain of Knowledge!
CAST a thunderbolt!
ASCEND the heavenly ladder!
HOB-NOB with Top Gods!
HAVE your prayers answered by experts!
SEEK the Holy Snail™ and win fabulous prizes!

If you’d like to attend, please email us for more info.


HAPPY NEW YEAR

January 1, 2002

Jupiter shines in the New Year

We hope you had a stunningly good festive time. BACCHUS and his team of merrymakers were out in force!

Don’t forget, JUPITER, the Top God in the Roman Planet Suite, can be seen in all his glory over the next few days. He’s at his brightest for zillions of years, so catch him in the night sky while the going’s good. If you have binoculars, you might even see some moons buzzing around his head.